I was just looking under the "edit" settings for a relationship status that says, "I'M complicated"... they don't seem to have a setting for that...
This was my updated Facebook status a few days ago around 2:30 in the afternoon. Incidentally, they also do not have "Agnostic" as a choice - although I plan to see if I can 'write it in' later...
Those of you who know me know that I have been in no way, shape, form or fashion on the hunt for a mate, companion, boyfriend, fiance, spouse or any form of any of that mess ...
I occasionally go on dates. I prefer to meet the gent out somewhere .. this is evidently
Anywho... I'm likely to meet a fellow out for a bit of dinner and chatting and then totally disappear for ... like ... weeks ... or months ... yes, sometimes even years ... it's not something I intentionally do, I suppose it's some sort of defense mechanism ...
I have a very firm belief on dating - for myself, anyway - It's like buying an ice cream freezer if you're lactose intolerant. Yes kids, you heard me... I've "been married", so it's not on my "list" to "get married". I'm extraordinarily selfish with my time and busy with my own projects, so it's not like I'm out pounding the pavement to find a mate who will most likely fragment my time even more. These two factors alone keep dating pretty much completely off the radar for me.
For those of you who have not been out here in the world of dating in this era ... it's rather confusing to say the least. Do you remember some twenty or so years ago when phrases like "seeing someone" or "dating someone" were common. It was a very simple term and it stated clearly what was happening.
When I returned to the single world after being out of it for in the vicinity of 14+ years... I was mortified, shocked and amazed.
People were no longer "dating", they were doing something they called "hanging out" ... "Hanging out" is just like dating, except for that it's not called dating because that would panic those involved and send people fleeing in every direction...
Another thing I learned from a book I read about "how to date"
was that it's appropriate to have sex after 3 dates? Appropriate to whom, I'm not sure...
According to one of my dearest and most trusted guy pals during a conversation recently, waiting 3 dates can now be considered antiquated and prudish by some. In my world, the prospective fellow doesn't have my phone number or know where I live until WEeeeeeLL past 3 dates - and that can sometimes span over three years...
Anywho... I digress ...
The generation gap is quite clear out here in the dating world ....
Men 30+ (for the most part) tend to be very "in the middle" of this new dating that is called "Hanging out". They'll say, "I like hanging out with you..." - which is equated to - yet slightly less sincere than - the 40+ year old's, "I enjoy your company.." or "I enjoy spending time with you.." You see the difference ... doesn't the "hanging out" sound much less serious than "enjoying company" or "spending time"?
I'm a commitment-phobe, myself ... so I could easily slide into the arena of "Hanging out", but I think we're minimizing relationships when we do so - and really ... isn't our culture minimizing them enough already?
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