I'm tying up details on a delightfully fantastic day. I had breakfast with Mom and my eldest brother Kev this morning .. this is something we're going to try to do with some sort of regularity in the new year. It gives us a chance to catch up and get in the loop on one another...
We went to Cracker Barrel this morning and had a great time. We discussed updates in the
Kev meandered out front for a ciggy as Mom and I started to make our way through the gift shop. All at once I turned around to say something to Mom and behind her stood my former Mother-in-Law. She was standing just feet away from me and it occurred to me quickly had followed me from the dining area and was coming in peace. I would give a pretty fair sum of money to have seen the look on my face.
This woman was my "Other Mother" from 1995 until the ex and I finally parted ways for the last time in late Summer of 2007. There's an "old joke" about Mother-in-Laws... a general underlying theme, really. Mother-in-Laws are supposed to be horrible wretched deceitful people from the boughs of Hell eternal. That's what 'old comedy' and 'vintage tv' tell us anyway...
In all honesty, I never had a lick of trouble with my Mother-in-Law during the time that I had one... So I think some people just have "people and communication" problems and THINK they have a bad Mom in Law.
When the ex and I were married, we were married in Jamaica. Though he did 'formally ask Dad for my hand in marriage" and trade cows and honeymoon money and whatnot, we did not take family and friends along.
We had a "going away" celebration, went back to our house, unpacked our gifts and left the next day for Jamaica. We were married on the beach, I choked on the wedding cake (If that's not a sign to run, I don't know what is...) and we brought a video tape back for each set of parents.
As a youngster (and yes, if you've been on this earth less than AT LEAST 25 years - you are a youngster) we didn't realize the memories we were robbing our parents of. Obviously we knew they weren't with us there, but it didn't occur to me that I was snatching from my Dad the experience of walking his only daughter and youngest child down the aisle... it didn't occur to the ex that his Mother had him on pedestal straight up to Heaven above and WANTED to watch him take his vows. There's a good chance I made it up to old Bill though, when I shot out the other end of that relationship off of my God blessed rocker, had to spend a weekend resting at "Betty Ford" and then moved into his house for a couple of months to let the dust settle.
I'm going to come back later on and tell you about the two incidents I DID have with my Mom-in-Law when I had them and explain to you how brilliantly and kindly people can get along when they just use their little noggins to communicate and share feelings rather than bitching, griping and looking for something to be ticked off about...
In the meantime I have a few things to finish up on my day and then I've got to get the Ocho in company condition and get myself cleaned up... Two of my oldest friends are coming here this evening so that we can go together to pay our respects to a wonderful friend we lost this week. It is still so surreal to me. When I just went to get the link above which takes you to his obituary I saw his picture and thought again, "I can't believe I'm not going to run into his smiling face at the Dollar Store this week..." I always ran into him at the Dollar Store... Brian was the brother of Lori who has been one of my best friends since around 1989... He always tried to be such a tuffie, but then he'd just smile a smile that lit up the room. He was a very special guy with a heart of gold and a kind spirit that never avoided anyone who was in need.
These things happen and it reminds us how quickly life can be over ... he was about to turn 42 at the end of January. It reminds us that we really do need to be kind to one another. Truly people, it's so much better to focus on what we have in common - than in the things that can divide us if we allow them to.
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Have a Grand and Groovy Day!
Be Kind to One Another...
and Don't Text and Drive!
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